The Russian Mathematician Who Thinks History Never Happened

Have you ever noticed how much Michelangelo’s David looks like ancient Greek and Roman statues? Have you ever wondered why that is?

Perhaps you thought it was because of normal things like “people are sometimes inspired by the past” or “the fact that ancient statues looked nothing like we imagine,” but no! The truth, if you believe a Russian mathematician named Anatoly Fomenko, is much darker.

You see, the truth, Fomenko says, is that the ancient world never really happened.

“What??” we hear you cry – or possibly, if you’re one of our regular readers, “oh right, another one of those phantom time conspiracies.” But Fomenko’s proposed timeline of the world is… possibly even weirder than…